If Paris Not Fun

If Paris Not Fun, If Paris Downcast 2018

If Paris Is Not Fun Around the love story between Yue Zhu (Truong Han) and Nguyen Man Quan (Hieu Thanh Tu). He is a successful young entrepreneur going to receive the admiration, women followed long queue. She is a good lawyer and a strong, deep woman who does not fall easily. A person with a liberal personality, not afraid of anything in this world. One who always wants to protect himself and others around him is in love with each other. Imagine they are two opposing extremes, but they create a touching love story. Before meeting Dong Zhuo Yao, Nguyen Man Quan encountered the biggest event in his life. To help her ex-boyfriend get rid of a financial case, the man fake the papers, but she also finds herself in jail and is unable to work as a lawyer.

Staying in prison is still a heart toward her boyfriend she is waiting for each day free to return to find her love. But the end result, when Tse Yao was released is also his boyfriend married another girl. The soldier seemed to have lost everything, so much so that there was nothing left. And at that moment she accidentally encountered Yue Zhuo, who pulled her from the mire. Nguyen Man Quan tried his best not to stop him from becoming a voice actor in the company. But then, she wanted to return to work as a lawyer as before, not because she missed the job so much that she could not quit, but because she wanted to pursue Yao Yuzu Peach.
But their love is too many obstacles, the Army has always felt guilty about his past, while Trieu Yao has many "good reputation far away" about the lack of food, playing lovers not long. Apparently they love each other but always fear and evade their feelings. The enemy flees, to lose before the heart, she ran to Paris, but finally met him. That may be the cause, probably because they can not give up each other but later on, the military knows for Tieu Yue: "People who love Dong Zhuo Yao, but in the world Yue Zhuang only one That person is Nguyen Man Quan. "

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Babies: Bébé(s) (2010)

Watched just in time to make my 10 worst films of the year [with my two year anniversary a week away]. This documentary was actually pushed pretty hard, I saw ads online, it was in theaters, and was pushed as an Oscar contender.

The documentary short list came out and there wasn't any mention of it being snubbed.... now wait a minute, it wasn't even in the top 15 of the year and no one cared? What happened?

So I'm writing this review with a two week old baby at home, and I also have a three year old... so I've seen the first year recently. The film follows four children across the world showing the last weeks of pregnancy to the children being a year old. We see a kid in Africa, Japan, Mongolia, and San Francisco. I wouldn't say that the San Francisco kid is treated anything like how I do with my kids, e.g. you won't see them with me naked in a hot tub. So don't get my wrong, its cute, but calling this a documentary is complete rubbish.

We see dangerous conditions in Mongolia, the kid is left in the field with animals all around walking over it. The kid in Africa really is never bathed with water. The Mongolian kid is taken home on the back of a motorcycle! So what do I know? How dangerous are all of these things we see really? Who know! There is absolutely no narration, no story, no explanation of why the culture does things the way they do. It is natural to think that something different is wrong, and this film does nothing to teach me about how kids are raised in other countries. Some of these countries have better life expectancies than we do in the U.S.

I absolutely hated watching this from the prospective of one of the babies... because that is what the film is. We don't understand the parents talking, we don't know why we are forced to do the things asked of us, etc. Forget you heard of this one... I learned nothing.

Vote: 1/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1020938/

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The Expendables (2010)

I have to say this is the front runner for the worst movie of the year for me. It was about the time that the opening credits were concluding that I realized this would be just awful. Written, directed, and starring Sylvester Stallone, and what does he know about writing scripts?

He called up all his buddies from action movies and basically gives them all cameo's while keeping the real action of a plot on Jason Statham and himself. Mickey Rourke comes across as a good actor in the wrong film, it was interesting to see a good actor alongside some really bad ones. Jet Li seemed to get the short end of the stick as Stallone made his character weak and incapable of fighting an decent bad guy. Stallone had to even come in and save his life at one point... which kind of pissed me off. Steve Austin was given too much freedom to be "himself" [read: his WWE persona].

This was an all around terrible film. From Statham controlling a machine gun on the front of a large plane, to bad one liners like "you'all better remember me at Christmas!" Amazingly there is a sequel scheduled for a 2012 release, and you will have to go to another site to read a review for it.

Vote: 1/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1320253/

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The Tempest (2010)

The frontrunner for the worst movie of the year for me is this cinematic adaptation of Shakespeare's play. Nominated for an Oscar for Costume Design and greatly overlooked by the production company with respect to promotions.

Helen Mirren plays the main character, a magician who is sentenced to live on an uninhabited island for performing witchcraft. She raises her daughter there and argues with Djimon Hounsou and Ben Whishaw character about lord knows what. Sure I didn't understand the movie, I even read the cliff notes halfway into the movie to try and figure out what was going on. I just don't like Shakespeare movies like this.

I'm not at all surprised that this movie was overlooked and Russell Brand is just another black mark on this film and should be enough to detour anyone on the fence.

Vote: 1/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1274300/

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Slaughter (1972)

Just like Cannonball! which was hard to find, I actually had to purchase a "rental" on itunes to find this one. A new method for me to watch films, but easy and inexpensive so I liked how it worked.

The film stars Jim Brown, a fullback from the Cleveland Browns NFL team that made a crossover to film on his good looks. He got his start in Rio Conchos, a war/western film. Then he was in The Dirty Dozen a few years later. 5 years later he was the leading role in this blaxploitation action film.

The acting is horrible, and the action scenes are really really bad. Dodging cars like a football player until they drive themselves into a river accidentally, later we get a hand-to-hand combat on a rooftop where he pushes bad guys off the roof like a football player. The change in aspect ratio when the camera angle changes on action scenes and the obvious dummies thrown through glass, etc ruins films for me. Just a horribly acted film with bad action sequences, this really makes me question the selections in this 101 action film book.

Vote: 1/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069279/

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The Heroic Trio: Dung fong saam hap (1993)

This is the most perplexing inclusion on the Action 101 list for me. Directed by Johnnie To, nothing of which is familiar to me, and starring a trio of famous Hong Kong ladies. Michelle Yeoh [Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon], Anita Mui [The Legend of Drunken Master, Rumble in the Bronx], and Maggie Cheung [In the Mood for Love, Hero] basically the three women responsible for most of the popular American market crossover films.

This film is kind of like when you like a band so much you buy their cd from before they became famous. Then you realize why they weren't famous until that album you first liked. The inclusion in Schneider's book is him trying to be creative, seriously he can't say this is better than a dozen films this book forgot [an LFR 101 Action list is in the works...].

The plot doesn't make a lot of sense to begin with, some sort of underworld devil man trained and hypnotized these women into doing his bidding. They run around stealing [and accidentally killing] babies. In the end they realize this guy is bad and all team up against him to form this trio. The action is just stupid, riding barrels launched by explosives. I'm not even sure what is unique about this film, "Wonder Woman" is one of the main characters... a clear copyright infringement. Why did I have to see this one? 

Vote: 1/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105619/

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Death Race 2000 (1975)

I hate to say it, but I was greatly disappointed by this 70s action film that spawned so many films. Credited by some as the source of the joke of running people over for points. This film is a futuristic fantasy film were sports have been reduced to a cross country car race.

Directed by Paul Bartel and starring David Carradine and Sylvester Stallone [pre-Rocky]. Everything about this film I just found awful. The acting was atrocious, the action was pathetic, the music was dated, and the character and plot were a waste of time.

When people say that a movie is good... because it is bad, or that you need to be drunk to enjoy it it really means that it holds a nostalgic feeling for a generation that will not be understood by the next generation. It is the same way that I found Starship Troopers entertaining, and don't expect anyone in another generation to.

Vote: 1/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072856/

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Last Year an Marienbad: L'année dernière à Marienbad (1961)

Yay, I have my new worst film of the year. Winning in a landslide is an artsy film with NO plot whatsoever. The type that I loath because it does not go anywhere or mean anything, nothing memorable to boot.

The film starts in the middle of scene in a chateau, e.g. French castle. All I can guess is that this class of society takes long summer vacations at estates like this and the two lead characters start a conversation in which the guy starts trying to convince the girl they met there last year. Hence the title.

He then vividly describes their encounter which she denies, or has forgotten. That's all. Really. The whole plot. Two hours of him trying to convince her they knew each other and her saying that she doesn't know him. Rubbish. 

Vote: 1/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0054632/

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A Christmas Carol (2009)

By far the worst film I have seen this year. This retelling of the Charles Dickens classic story completely panders to the usage of 3D, while failing to provide any substance.

The classic story which has the three ghosts: Past, Present, and Future are meant to show Mr. Scrooge when he changed and how things used to be. The condition of the people around him that he is hurting. What will happen to him if he doesn't change. Pretty simple, amazing that Disney could get it so wrong.

The CGI was so bad in this film that I wouldn't be surprised audience members got sick. The scare factor is so high that I don't know who their target audience is. Kids can't see this one, if would give them nightmares, the story lacks so much substance that adults couldn't possibly fidn it worthwhile.

First off the ghost of Christmas Past doesn't really teach him anything, I'm sorry but showing him the school he used to go to was pointless. The Ghost of Christmas Present had the most incredibly annoying laugh and just showed him people talking bad about him. The Ghost of Christmas Future just chased him around. Scrooge learned nothing about the Christmas spirit, all the ghosts did was scare him straight. Like a shape up or you are going to hell. I strongly disliked this film and would suggest it be avoided completely.

Vote: 1/10, KSF 5/5

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1067106/

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Il Divo (2009)

I'm not quite sure were to begin with this one. It was nothing like what I expected from seeing it on people's "Best" lists. The film was nominated for an Oscar last year for some sort of film editing. It starts out with some fantastic action sequences introducing countless characters with cool visuals flashing either names up from behind building, etc.

The problem with this film is that it is not made for an international audience. It just makes no sense at all. They follow this guy who is like a political godfather in Italy. He has knocked people off to get as powerful as he now is, and we get to see him running for President. We don't really get to see the side that is trying to bring him down, and we actually spend most of the film talking about how so-and-so took out so-and-so, therefore so-and-so is linked to so-and-so. It is so utterly confusing that you only get the point that we know he is linked to the killings but cannot prove it in court.

Trying to follow this film was painful and pointless, unless you know Italian politics then forget it.

Vote: 1/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1023490/

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Jennifer's Body (2009)

One of the worst movies that I've seen this year. Amanda Seyfried (from Mamma Mia!) and Megan Fox star in this film. Amanda plays Neddy, who we learn is inside an insane asylum. She starts telling a story about how her friend became possessed by a demon. It is pretty obvious why she is in the asylum, and everything in the movie plays out as expected.

The thing that makes this movie horrendous, and not sure a little bad, was the awful script. The one liners and excessive bad language is cheap and unnecessary. By bad one liners, there is a mom who just lost her son. At the funeral see tells some kids that they don't understand her pain, "Because my son is six feet downtown." Or a quote by Jennifer "You need a mani bad. You should find a Chinese chick to buff your situation."

The acting, plot, script were all just horrendous. Waste of time...

Vote: 1/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1131734/

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The Back-Up Plan (2010)

I subject my wife to a considerable amount of bad horror and action movies. So to be fair we also check out the romantic comedies expect to be bad just to mix it up.

This one was pretty bad, but maybe not for the reasons you would expect. I have no qualms with Jennifer Lopez's performance, she was fine, and her character wasn't that bad. I lay most of the blame on the script and her co-star. Alex O'Loughlin was a horrible guy. She fell for some cheese maker who didn't have the decency to share his cab with a pretty lady. His pettiness and lack of chivalry was questionable at best.

The plot is that a lady decides to go through artificial insemination to have a baby. Meanwhile she meets a guy and they have to deal with the issues of having a baby that isn't really his... something that might be as unrealistic as this movie would have you believe.

Aside from the main actor doing a bad job, was the group therapy class they were a part of. These performances, scenes, and existance in the film made it unbearable to watch at times.

So unrealistic dialog, bad acting by O'Loughlin, and the therapy class made this easily a one. If you are going to watch it, the one enjoyable part was Anthony Anderson. He brought a couple minutes of good comic relief when O'Loughlin was at the playground.

Vote: 1/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1212436/

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Road to Morocco (1942)

Oh my lord, this is the worst movie I have seen this year... maybe even ever. I hated it.

The plot. Two moron castaways filled with awful jokes, who love to break into tone deaf song and dance randomly, find themselves in a desert city. One moron sells the other into slavery, and some how they are fighting for the princess's hand in marriage.

Nothing was funny about this movie. Many parts were painfully stupid. I'm guessing this was on one of the tv's during the physiological experiments in A Clockwork Orange.

Note to self: Crosby/Hope = Torture

Vote: 1/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0035262/

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The Milk of Sorrow: La teta asustada (2009)

The potato girl movie! This has to be the strangest movie I have seen in a very very long time. It takes place in Peru, and starts with a mother lamenting on her death bed about a horrendous experience. She is singing this song about how she was forced to watch terrorists murder her husband then force her to eat his dead penis. Yes she is singing this...

So the story of the Milk of Sorrow is that she was pregnant at the time and her misery was transferred to her daughter through her breast milk. the townspeople treated this girl as tainted and her mother created such fear in her that she is afraid to walk across the street. So here is where it gets strange. She has to be rushed to the hospital because she has a potato growing in her and damaging her private parts. She apparently is so afraid of getting raped that she intentionally uses one as a contraceptive to deter a potential rapist.

There really isn't much storyline other than this. She takes a job for a wealthy women who we never really learn much about. We are subjected to a local wedding that has little to nothing to do with the storyline. I just couldn't get over the disturbing opening. There was so little going on in this movie. It was just horrible. I used the international movie poster rather than the American released one to remind myself of the strange potato girl if I happen across this review in my archive someday.

I doubt you planned on watching this one, better to have never heard about it.

Vote: 1/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1206488/

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From Paris With Love (2010)

The most fun I get out of these just HORRIBLE action films is that you can go onto the imdb message boards and read the threads like "What we learned from this movie." Then sarcastically list all of the plot holes, discontinuities, and general lack of quality script.

The selling point for me to watch this was the director, Pierre Morel . He also happened to direct Taken, one of the few movies I have given a 10/10 lately. So I was hoping for the best, despite the fact that the lead actors were questionable at best: John Travolta and Jonathan Rhys Meyers.

The plot of this ridiculous movie is that Meyers is trying to become a government special agent, a job he didn't train for and is currently working for a government official. He is called in for his first job, which happens to be teamed up with Travolta, who is a complete bad ass with no remorse or respect for human life. Which is apparently cool?

The way Americans are portrayed was almost offensive and the plot holes were so bad it was hard to watch. Don't watch this... really.

Vote: 1/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1179034/

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Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)

You'll love this movie if... you love hearing the F word every 30 seconds. Man I hate John Cusack. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Fool me 6 times in a row then I must be the idiot. He hasn't been in a good movie in over a decade, and I keep hoping his role will be minor enough the films will still be somewhat good, but they aren't.

I watched this because I though Craig Robinson [from The Office] and Rob Corddry [from The Daily Show] would make this movie worthwhile. Boy was I wrong. All of the jokes fell into the crude, gay, or sexual jokes, and that isn't enough to make an entire film.

Chevy Chase makes a cameo, but it isn't even funny, it just doesn't make sense. Which is even more annoying. Don't watch this one.

Vote: 1/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1231587/

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Kandahar: Safar e Ghandehar (2001)

What a movie poster, "Best Picture of the Year!," "Extraordinary!"... really. This was a very boring film about a college age girl wandering around Afghanistan trying to get to the city where her sister is.

Why? Well her sister wants to commit suicide and she has to get there in three days to stop her. She is air dropped into a small village and pays a man to take her to the city. He ditches her the first chance he gets. This goes on several more times and we even take a complete tangent where some guy is trying to get new artificial legs for his wife. The acting is just horrible by the Red Cross workers, not even worthy of a high school drama production, REALLY. They are just reading their lines with no emotion. I wasn't exactly drawn into the movie but this really put me off.

The film ends with no conclusion and I just felt like this journey I was led on was a complete waste of time. Horrible film that should have never been added to the 1001 Movies to See Before You Die book, maybe there are a few meant to kill you? Should I have watched this one last?

Vote: 1/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0283431/

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Leap Year (2010)

It takes a very special movie to get a 1/10. One so bad that you question, "Who screwed this thing up?" I start to ask did the director do a bad job with a decent script? Did Amy Adams think the script was good? Was it the writers fault? Was it bad from the start and the producer shouldn't have given it a green light?

The movie follows the cookie cutter romantic comedy line. Boy won't commit to girl, she meets bad boy, they don't get along, and she falls for bad boy in the end. You see it coming from the start, there is nothing to make you believe the movie is going to improve throughout it. So you have to be careful not to be overly critical because it is just that bad...

This is Amy Adams' first real bomb. She has had some average movies, I've liked her in everything since Junebug. Matthew Goode was fantastic in The Lookout... so I really have to blame the director here, Anand Tucker does not have a good resume and I will be avoiding him from now on.

Seriously, don't watch this movie.

Vote: 1/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1216492/

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Gamer (2009)

Gerard Butler (better known as King Leonidas from 300) is on death row, but there is technology now allowing these people to be part of a video game. If they die, they die, if they can survive 30 rounds then they get pardoned. No one has done it.

The concept isn't too bad but the director is awful. Hell, even Butler is pretty good. Michael C. Hall is annoying and Logan Lerman is just a kid in a bad role.

This is just a bad movie, I'd rather not review it any more, if you want to know more about this POS film check out imdb.

Vote: 1/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1034032/

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Dogville (2003)

This was by far the worst film I have seen in quite some time. The concept of the film is that it is all filmed on a sound stage. So what does this mean? Well you get the feel of a real movie from the sounds and music, but it is like you are watching a play with chalk outlines on the ground to denote the buildings. All of this wouldn't be that bad if it wasn't a film that centered around Nicole Kidman for three hours. Mind you, they do not leave the set for the entire film.

There are some smaller Hollywood names you might recognize, such as Paul Bettany (A Knight's Tale and The Da Vinci Code being his most recognizable roles) and Lauren Bacall, and James Caan, and some recognizable faces. All do good jobs, but remember this is all about Kidman.

The pace is slow the acting is not bad, but the editing is awful. There are several moments where I felt like I was watching a 1920's film where scene takes were cut in the middle and you can clearly see people shift on the set instantly. It makes me think that they rushed filming this for some reason.

Add this one to the collection of awful Kidman films like Birth.

Vote: 1/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0276919/

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