If Paris Not Fun

If Paris Not Fun, If Paris Downcast 2018

If Paris Is Not Fun Around the love story between Yue Zhu (Truong Han) and Nguyen Man Quan (Hieu Thanh Tu). He is a successful young entrepreneur going to receive the admiration, women followed long queue. She is a good lawyer and a strong, deep woman who does not fall easily. A person with a liberal personality, not afraid of anything in this world. One who always wants to protect himself and others around him is in love with each other. Imagine they are two opposing extremes, but they create a touching love story. Before meeting Dong Zhuo Yao, Nguyen Man Quan encountered the biggest event in his life. To help her ex-boyfriend get rid of a financial case, the man fake the papers, but she also finds herself in jail and is unable to work as a lawyer.

Staying in prison is still a heart toward her boyfriend she is waiting for each day free to return to find her love. But the end result, when Tse Yao was released is also his boyfriend married another girl. The soldier seemed to have lost everything, so much so that there was nothing left. And at that moment she accidentally encountered Yue Zhuo, who pulled her from the mire. Nguyen Man Quan tried his best not to stop him from becoming a voice actor in the company. But then, she wanted to return to work as a lawyer as before, not because she missed the job so much that she could not quit, but because she wanted to pursue Yao Yuzu Peach.
But their love is too many obstacles, the Army has always felt guilty about his past, while Trieu Yao has many "good reputation far away" about the lack of food, playing lovers not long. Apparently they love each other but always fear and evade their feelings. The enemy flees, to lose before the heart, she ran to Paris, but finally met him. That may be the cause, probably because they can not give up each other but later on, the military knows for Tieu Yue: "People who love Dong Zhuo Yao, but in the world Yue Zhuang only one That person is Nguyen Man Quan. "

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Cemetary Man: Dellamorte Dellamore (1994)

Easily one of the most bizarre films I've seen. A lot about this one just makes no sense at all. Those that like this film call it a "Fun" B-Horror film. The film is in Italian... and German and French... but all of the German and French actors have been dubbed into Italian. So the film is the worst of both worlds, bad sync on bad dubbing, and subtitles.

The film centers around Francesco, Rupert Everett, the graveyard head groundsman who has a half wit helper who lives downstairs, Gnaghi. Francesco has found out that the dead come back to life between 3 and 10 days after they originally die. The timeline changes person to person but seems to be linked to their age. He spends most days killing these people for a 2nd time, always by damaging the brain, either through a gunshot or removing the head.

He falls in love with a woman's who's husband just died. She becomes fascinated with the cemetery and becomes his lover. She meets her demise early thanks to the "undead." Then the plot gets really bizarre, biker zombies riding around, a severed head that becomes Gnaghi's girlfriend. Strange movie.

The one redeeming factor, the beautiful Anna Falchi, but she isn't even around long... then we have to suffer though Gnaghi and his disgusting eating habits. I thought this was going to go somewhere when Francesco and "She" [Anna's credit name] became a couple... but I was quite wrong. Forget this one.

Vote: 2/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109592/

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Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

As the movie poster suggests, this is the most controversial film ever made. This one of the less gory posters I could find, and I still had to edit it. The film, made by Italian Ruggero Deodato was rumored to actually be a snuff film [meaning that someone died on film], and he was actually arrested on obscenity charges. The actors defended him on trial, and he was let go, but the film remains banned in many countries today.

The plot of the film is that four documentary film makers go into the Amazon to film cannibalistic tribes. When they don't return, a NYU professor goes into the jungle to recover the footage. The two tribes he visits are both very hostile, he is able to win them over and recover the footage, and the footage shows who the real primitives are.

There are scenes of rape, murder, seven animals are killed on film. Some for food, some for sport. The film is pretty sick on all levels and I highly discourage anyone watching it. I'm just going to leave it at that...

Vote: 2/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078935/

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Saw 3D: The Final Chapter (2010)

It has been a tradition of mine to start horror month off with the latest Saw film. Partially because I'm sure it will the gore, bad acting, and runtime of typical movies for the rest of the month. I'm always a year behind, but I'm not going to the theater for films of this quality... so that's fine with me. Looks like next year I'll have to switch to the Paranormal Activity series to kick the month off.

So I have to admit that there have been too many twists over too many years for me to have a clue what is going on. That makes it hard to follow the underlying storyline to this pathetic gore series which gets worse with every film.

The film starts with three people being killed by Jigsaw's invention in a public area, of course this scene is only to show off some 3D killings and has nothing to do with the rest of the film. We've jumped two a new Jigsaw, then to his wife, then back to him not being dead, hell I don't even know. All I know is that the acting is worse that "Days of Our Lives".

The thing that really bothers me about this series is that no one survives Jigsaw's inventions any more. Of course Jigsaw has changed from the old guy dying of cancer wanting people to re-evaluate their lives, to a serial killer using the jigsaw name. The allure of a contraption that only those with the guts to make a sacrifice can escape has turned into everyone dying regardless of how hard they try and get out. If this spoils the movie for you then you haven't seen the last 5 in the series.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Watch the first Saw film and STOP at that.

Vote: 2/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1477076/

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Synecdoche, New York (2008)

I've seen a few confusing films while attempting to finish all of these movie lists. The hardest of course has been the 1001 movies to see before you die book, which features a number of foreign film, avant-garde, experimental, and just plain strange films. First director that comes to mind is David Lynch with Mulholland Dr., Lost Highway, Blue Velvet , and the most bizarre film i've ever seen Eraserhead.

The most mainstream of these directors that think outside the box is Charlie Kaufman. Kaufman usually keeps his films someone understandable on first watch, and has many films worth two watches. Like Being John Malkovich, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. The thing about these films is that he WRITE them all but directed NONE of them. So Synecdoche, New York is actually Kaufman's directorial debut.

I watched this film please Ebert just loved it, and although I haven't found his quote he said something along the lines of "our generations Citizen Kane." How can you skip a movie like that? He even put it on his top ten films of the decade list. Like many have rebutted to Ebert, you liked the concept but the execution was not there.

I applaud Kaufman from trying to direct one of his highly complex films, but for me this was just another film starring Philip Seymour Hoffman that failed. Sorry Hoffman you are one of the best supporting actors ever... but not a lead. The movie just made no sense. I should have to read explanations of the film afterward to understand it. If I read those explanations and still don't get it then there is something very wrong with the film because what is film if it isn't a way to convey your ideas so an audience understands them.

The film follows a neurotic man through his life, through his slightly insane eyes. We jump year at a time with no direction other than people aging. He builds a fantasy land he calls a theater set for a show that will never happen, until his life eventually before this fantasy world. It will not make sense, and it isn't supposed to.


Vote: 2/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0383028/

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Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives: Loong Boonmee raleuk chat (2010)

Not a pretentious film, but one that is embraced by pretentious people. I've read reviews with lines like, "Though not for everyone, it is a must see for anyone who treasures cinema." So... since this film made no sense to me don't know how to treasure cinema?

A film make in Thailand, spoken in Thai, and the country's submission to the Oscar Foreign Film committee for awards consideration. Winner of the Palme d'Or at the Cannes Film Festival and The Best Film in Thailand. It is critically acclaimed in Asia, and probably would be a pretty good film if I understood Thai culture and was also Buddist.

But I'm not, and the film... which centers around Boonme, who is dying of what I believe is Kidney failure. There seems to be some form of dialysis or just emptying of his kidney's, but it is pretty clear he is about to die. While on his deathbed [figuratively, because he is still able to get around with some assistance], he recalls his childhood, past lives, and speaks with ghosts of loved ones who have passed.

I've read a lot about this film since, trying to understand it. The problem is that it is both hard to follow and full of metaphors. So there are scenes were a monk showers and puts on street cloths and this is supposed to be a metaphor about Thai society and so forth. Oh yeah, and the catfish performing oral sex on the princess was bizarre enough to make me tell everyone to avoid this one. If you want a bizarre foreign film check out: Dogtooth.

Vote: 2/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1588895/

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Hobo With A Shotgun (2011)

I'm so so very tired of "homage" films labeled as indie or cult films. I really expected nothing out of this film. Honestly a little humor or good one liners would have been enough [kind of like Dead Snow or Army of Darkness]. The film was cheaply made, and it looks cheap.

Made along the lines of Grindhouse, and a homage to those types of film, but not exactly. If you saw Grindhouse you might remember there were two fake movie trailers, Machete and Hobo With A Shotgun... now neither are fake... So the idea for this film wasn't even that original.

Rutger Hauer was enjoyable to watch, he actually has a golden globe for a made for TV movie, and him running around with a shotgun was kinda cool. The supporting actors and script were just awful though. Gregory Smith as Slick was just terrible. The whole group of bad guys had such terrible lines that it was almost unwatchable. Last comment is the gore, I have a pretty high tolerance for gore from growing up watching lots of horror movies was even too much for me.

Not as good as people might be telling you, avoid it.

Vote: 2/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1640459/

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Rollerball (1975)

James Caan stars as Jonathan, the superstar of Rollerball, the only futuristic sport the corporation allows. This film is barely an action film at all. More drama and science fiction than anything, the plot really centers around a futuristic world were corporations have taken over countries and Rollerball is not as much a game, as it is a way for the corporations to show how trivial human lives are.

The conflict in the story is no action/sport based at all, there isn't much of a championship to worry about and we don't care about the score of the game. The conflict really lies in the existence of individual that the corporation can no longer control. This is why the movie kinda really sucked. You expect one thing and get another, or maybe I just did.

I wanted an action film with exciting scenes, a championship to win, important characters making sacrifice... instead I got a leading character being a rebel but confused about what he wants, an important character in a coma that once again the lead character can't make a decision about. The plot was weak because I felt the indecisiveness of the leading character was a reflection of a poor script or bad directing. Please also avoid the remake...

Vote: 2/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073631/

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The Human Stain (2003)

This film was picked by the AFI as one of their top 10 films of the year, which means it must have been a really bad year for American Cinema. That, and I have much different taste than this board.

The film stars Anthony Hopkins as an African American with skin so fair he has hidden his past and family and pretended to be Caucasian for most of his life. Ironically he is fired as a professor because of a misconstrued racial slur towards several African American students. He starts a relationship with a very messed up lady, Nicole Kidman, who has been abused and through hurtful relationship her entire life. The kind of sob story character that is perfect for Kidman's whining acting style. Ed Harris plays her ex-husband, a little nuts from active combat in the military, and his role and performance was the saving grace that kept this film from getting a 1/10.

I really don't have much more to say, this film was horrible. Based on a book that did work as a film. Main reason, Hopkins did not fit the role... at all. Plus I don't like Kidman to begin with.

Vote: 2/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0308383/

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I Am Love: Io sono l'amore (2010)

I'm writing this post several weeks after seeing the film, therefore my hate for it has diminished. This is by far one of the worst films I've seen. Pretentious crap is the best way to describe it.

I'll go ahead and warn that there might be a few spoilers here, but spoiling crap is kind of an oxymoron. The film starts in a fashion that made me think a good film about a rich family dealing with failure and the family empire changing generational hands. What I got was cut up plot, loose ends, unexplained events, and bad acting. We never learn trivial parts of the plot, what did the son race?, that are irrelevant to the plot, but the manor in which they are avoided make you wonder for the entire movie. The hint of homosexual behavior by the son never comes to fruition, and the viewer feels lost.

The tangents we take with Tilda Swinton are pointless and only for artistic sake. If you are in film school or want to work on costume design have fun with this one, you are probably the only one getting joy out of this film. Don't just avoid this one, tell others that mention it that you heard it was bad. Oh yeah, this crap was nominated for a Golden Globe just because of Swinton, Italy was smart enough not to submit it to the Oscar Foreign Committee.

Vote: 2/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1226236/

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A Hard Day's Night (1964)

A glorified extended music video considered a great film. Treated like "normal" day in the life of the Beatles, this film is popular just because of nostalgia. Just because you like them and their music, does NOT mean they can act.

Beatles telling jokes and their songs playing in the background is basically the entire film. A running gag with Paul's grandfather is beyond stupid and the jokes are cookie cutter and pathetic. The songs even repeat, with all the Beatles songs available they couldn't fill the film with different ones? I didn't just find this film boring, I found it painful to watch. Counting the minutes left from about 20 minutes in.

I'm very leery about watching the other Beatles movies now.

Vote: 2/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058182/

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The Rules of the Game: La règle du jeu (1939)

Films like this remind me that I am not a student of film. I never studied it and I could care less about how fluid the film was or the social commentary, or whatever metric that doesn't add up to an enjoyable and interesting storyline. The fact is, this movie was dull. The elements of slapstick comedy do not find in well with the seriousness and romance. We have multiple tangled affairs and no real main character.

I don't like hopping around following different people if there is no central theme and storyline. I'll take Jean Renoir's Grand Illusion over this one any day.

I really don't have much more to say, this was a struggle to finish and motivate myself to get through. Good luck if you are watching it to complete a list.

Vote: 2/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0031885/

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Happy Together: Chun gwong cha sit (1997)

This film makes Brokeback Mountain look like a G rated film. It opens with a sex scene that made me walk out of the room. I waited for it to end to come back in, then had to decide if I should even bother watching the rest of the film. The Asian couple are then looking for a waterfall and get lost, they break up and go through this strange relationship throughout the film. Sleeping around to get back at each other, laying around their slum apartment most of the day.

I really failed to understand the point of this movie. There are even scenes were we just watch a waterfall in silence for several minutes. Some scenes are in black-and-white, other in color, usually when the leading actor is in a good mood. I think film students have put this film on a pedestal for its usage of color. I can't seem to find merit anywhere else.

Part of the filmspotting forum's top 100 films of all time, I'm starting to wonder if that list has any merit. You have been warned.

Vote: 2/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118845/

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Jonah Hex (2010)

Oops, I didn't know what I was getting into on this one. I'm sure I would have avoided it if I would have known that Megan Fox was in it. Sadly Josh Brolin and John Malkovich were not enough to make this film good. With an estimated $47 million budget and only grossing $11 million in three months at the box office, I would call it a pretty big flop. I'm not sure how
Jimmy Hayward makes a jump from directing Horton Hears a Who! to directing this film, and I'm not sure we will see him do it again soon.
Based on a comic book about a cowboy brought back to life by Indians is far from making sense. Not that this is the most extreme stretch that this film makes, but it gives you a taste of just how bad it was.

This outlandish action film really doesn't deserve to be discussed much. Malkovich was a pretty good villain and saved this film from being a 1.

Vote: 2/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1075747/

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Religulous (2008)

Oh Bill Maher, what a confused and sad individual. I will do my best to explain why this movie sucked, not because I disagree with everything Maher says, but because of how poorly compiled this film is.

The point of this film seems to be discrediting all the religions of the world. I'm not sure if Maher wants to believe in something, or if he is just trying to point out stupid and confused individuals. The thing about this film is that it is almost unwatchable. For one the production values are incredible low, boom mikes and other pieces of audio equipment frequently show up in shots. Probably such a bad running joke that they just make it look intentional at the end with cheap shots of cameras filming camera crews. I hate it when documentaries do this.

First and foremost though is Maher's inability to have a discussion with anyone credible. He allows people that have no merit when speaking on religion to talk themselves into a hole. Any time he speaks to someone credible that defends his outrageous "points" he cuts them off constantly. People are constantly saying "can you please let me finish?" then he proceeds to through another random allegation at them and cut to a different interview. He speaks to truckers about Christianity, ex-Mormons about Mormonism. The single credible person he talks to is an astrologer at the Vatican. The one person that brings some credible discussion to the table.

There was no point to this film. There was no goal. There was little to no worthwhile discussions. All there was, was religion bashing. Maher speaks of his childhood with his mother. This part actually made me want to cry. Their family had NO IDEA why they went to church growing up. Maher learned NOTHING from going to Sunday school. It is very sad to me to see someone with absolutely no faith in anything, and confused about everything.

I'll pray for you Bill, hopefully you find faith in something other than making fun of people.

Vote: 2/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0815241/

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Pirate Radio: The Boat The Rocked (2009)

I was nervous about this film going into it. Philip Seymour Hoffman does not do all that well in a leading role. Bill Nighy usually annoys me. I'm also not a big fan of British comedy...

So this movie was probably a really good pitch, and probably went something like this:
"I want Hoffman, Nighy, etc in a movie about pirate radio stations in the North Sea in the 1960's"

Response: "Wow that sounds pretty good! Is it a comedy or a drama?"

"Shit, I don't know, how about we just see what happens?"

The movie is ridiculous, the plot development around Young Carl makes you think this will be like Almost Famous. Then we just to some awful DJ and their stupid stunts. Then we get dramatic when the boat starts to sink. In Winter. In the North Sea. Just as the boat is about to go underwater row boats, canoes, yachts, and steam boats all show up at the same time to save them. But wait, if the boat sinks they will die in the freezing water right? Well when the rescuers show up it is sunny out so the water is probably warm enough to just swim to your vessel of choice.

This movie was so incredibly awful that there are some pirate radio dj's rolling over in their graves... which are probably at the bottom of the north sea if there is any truth to this plot. How this was considered for an Oscar, ever, at any point, is beyond me. I can see why it was quickly forgotten, and it is only because of the music they played and the idea behind what they were doing that gave it the 2/10.

And don't get me started on the awful acting jobs of the villains.

Vote: 2/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1131729/

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The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day (2009)

Before I proceed to bash this movie, I'll start by saying that The Boondock Saints (1999) is one of the few movies I gave a 10/10. Without ruining that film, let's say that part of the joy of that film is seeing how they got their start as "The Saints" and the events around this.

The original film had an interesting detective and a lot of action. We started at the scene of the crime then replayed the events as the FBI detective reenacted exactly how he saw it play out. Cool concept.

The problem with this movie is they didn't make a sequel per se, all they did is try and clone the movie. An incredible amount of cursing, the Saints made mistakes, the supporting actors were awful, especially the policemen.

I really questioned why I was putting myself through this one about 15 minutes in. Julie Benz was a B grade actress at best, and Clifton Collins Jr. as Romeo was horrible. He was an unnecessary addition and paled in comparison to Rocco from the original. Waste of time.

Vote: 2/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1300851/

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The Golem: Der Golem, wie er in die Welt kam (1920)

If anything, this film is a precursor to Frankenstein (1931). A Golem is an animated being made from inanimate matter, and activated by a Rabbi. This silent German film was very difficult to watch, the video quality took away greatly from the not very exciting storyline.

A German expressionistic film about a ruler who wants to banish all Jewish people from the village because he has a premonition that they would rise against him. Ironically banishing them gave them reason to rise up, and the way they rose was to create this Golem. Just like you would expect from a horror film, they were unable to control the Golem after creating it.

I just can't see recommending a film of such low quality and lacking in story. There are other better films, but that isn't even the point, it was just hard to get through and not really worth following closely. Part of the "101 Horror Movies to See Before You Die," a new list created by the same author as "1001 Movies to See Before You Die" last year. He is wrong, you aren't missing anything here.

Vote: 2/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0011237/

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The Player (1992)

Easily the worst film I have seen in a while. A bad film that has good reviews, a good imdb rating, and a decent star always just baffles me.

Tim Robbins plays a Hollywood Producer in the middle of a murder scandal which resembles the styling of some classic Film Noir pictures. The main actress is played by Greta Scacchi, yeah... you don't know her, because she wasn't good and hasn't been in anything else worth watching. Get this... the detectives are played by Whoopi Goldberg and Lyle Lovett... so you can guess how dramatic and realistic their performances are [sarcasm].

Robbins had a number of good 80's films where he wasn't exactly the main character, such as Bull Durham and Top Gun. A notable film I reviewed last year was Jacob's Ladder which he starred in, and of course the 90's hit The Shawshank Redemption. Maybe it has something to do with the type of character he plays. In all of these films he played a jock (Nuke in Bull Durham, "Merlin" in Top Gun, and a Vietnam vet Jacob Singer in Jacob's Ladder). All of these characters weren't all that competent, then when you come to his masterful performance as Andy Dufresne it really strikes me that the meager demeanor and childishness works for him. So the big shot Hollywood Executive role just didn't fit, he was grossly miscast in this film, and made it seem like the film was a joke or spoof.

The single redeeming quality of this film was the number of classic film references that are made. I have seen just about all the classic they discuss when he talks about what kinds of films they look to produce. So this part was fun. Overall it was just horrible, avoid this one.

Vote: 2/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105151/

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It's Complicated (2009)

What an awful movie... I can't begin to tell you how bad this is. Cheesy, unrealistic, unfunny, and bad acting.

Plot: Divorced couple's son is graduating so they are staying in the same hotel, get drunk and sleep together. Streep has been single since the divorce and regrets the decision. Baldwin is married to the woman he had an affair with, is now unhappy with this home life and happy to be back with Streep. Martin is an architect hired to help Streep with a home edition and going through a divorce as well, so they start dating while she is having an affair with her ex-husband...

So the super-mom [Streep] has a perfect home, ocean view, raised 3 perfect kids, owns multiple bakeries, and lives close to the city in a secluded country home, but goes to therapy and is still getting over her divorce 10 year later. Meanwhile, Baldwin's new wife is rich and their biggest concern is trying to have another kid. It is really amazing how UNcomplicated their lives really are.

I have nothing nice to say, so if you still want to see it there are other reviews out there that might be nicer.

Vote: 2/10

IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1230414/

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